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Load Up the B-52s with Dollars!

The bail-outs keep coming.  Now it's the consumer credit market.  I guess it's time to start using my credit card, so I can benefit.  Reports the Los Angeles Times:
 The federal government's new $800-billion initiative to revive the nation's credit markets and reverse the deepening economic crisis propels the government into risky territory -- the uncertain world of credit cards, student borrowing, auto loans and cash-strapped small businesses. Most of the money in the plan announced Tuesday is aimed at making home loans cheaper and more readily available. To that end, the Federal Reserve plans to buy as much as $600 billion in debt and mortgage-backed securities held or issued by government-sponsored lenders such as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. But on a separate front, the Fed will commit as much as $200 billion to help loosen lending for consumer goods, including everything people can buy with their credit cards. The move is intended to make it easier for ordinary Americans to get credit, but it also carries greater risk that tax dollars might not be repaid.
Since it's pretty clear that the Bush administration plans on bailing out EVERYONE, why not simplify the process.  Just load up the Air Force's thousands of planes--transports, bombers, and even fighters--with cash and start bombarding neighborhoods across America!  Obviously this will be a fairer means of distributing the federal loot.  Everyone will get a shot.  And consumers will start spending again, which is what we're told the economy is all about. It will also add some thrill to making a living.  Forget wasting your time at work.  Go on a treasure hunt across America, to find cash bombs that went awry!  Work on your orienteering skills! Moreover, it will improve military readiness.  Bombing America with money will be good target practice for the pilots and bombadeers.  See if you can zoom in with your F-16 and get some dollar bills into people's hands!  See if you can plant your B-52 payload directly on a house or apartment complex!  Think of the thrill of depositing a few hundred thousand dollars into the back of pick-up! Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, call your office!