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The Science March: No Laughing Matter? Says Who?

Back in February, Prof. David Gelernter of Yale—who may become the next White House science advisor—had this to say about the upcoming March for Science and its organizers: “It’s like this is some sort of Looney Tunes thing. I must be trapped in an alternate reality. They couldn’t possibly be serious.”

But with science marches now scheduled in many cities for this Saturday, timed to coincide with Earth Day, the organizers obviously are serious. Too serious, in our view. Using street protests to handle scientific controversies like climate change is only a few steps above using animal sacrifice.

At times like this, we need some perspective. And we need some cheesy Science March jokes:

Why did the marcher walk straight into a tree even though he clearly saw it?

Because he refused to let an empirical observation get in his way.

Why did hundreds of marchers kiss the feet of one woman?

Because she was a model.

Why were so many of the marchers in tears?

Because they were far too sensitive.

Why did several hundred science marchers bump into each other at a red light?

Because they refused to recognize that the march had paused.

What percentage of the marchers had kale for lunch?

97%.

What did the Mexican food vendor say when the marchers complained about his salsa?

“I don’t change my recipes; the salsa is settled.”

Have a Science March joke or story of your own? Send it to us and perhaps we’ll post it.