Are They Going to Cancel Christmas Next?

School officials in Greenwich, Connecticut have decided that the kids under their charge are in danger, and they’ve moved to ban the offending substances that are threatening the students. That’s right, those young minds are now safe from…ice cream and cookies. It seems the two days a week that kids were allowed to purchase dessert foods in the school’s cafeteria were all too much, and now there will be no sweets for anyone. And in an especially charming detail, the school has even sent home instructions to parents on what they should pack in junior’s sack lunch. Hopefully Greenwich school administrators will get off their lazy behinds and start turning out instructions for parents on how to discipline their children as well.