Dave Barry for Candidate!
While we at Open Market do not endorse candidates for elective office, we can take Dave Weigel’s hint (via Hit & Run) and direct you to a Q&A series with the man who could be the election cycle’s most compelling candidate so far: Dave Barry.
The Man from Miami has made a great number of fans by mocking the arrogance and stupidity of government programs, large and small, which, as far as I’m concerned, is an excellent qualification to be President of the United States [Ed: please note, this does not constitute an endorsement of Barry’s candidacy. If you are a U.S. senator with a name ending in -cCain or -eingold, please stop reading now].
Sure, you say, Dave’s a great guy, but how is he on The Issues? Witness a few of his quick fire responses to tough questions submitted via the Miami Herald website:
Q: If elected how do you intend to deal with Helen Thomas?
A: I’d keep her. Granted, this might require the services of a taxidermist, but the woman is an institution.
Q: Do you not agree that it is time to return to “children being seen but not heard”? As President, what can you do to stop the public abuse of those of us who are finally empty nesters?
A: Two words: tranquilizer darts.
Q: If and when elected prez, what band would you choose to play at the inaugural?
A: That would be George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers. Later on, as the party got going, we would actually destroy Delaware. It would be like a theme party.
Sorry, Delaware, but it’s hard to argue with his platform.