Gordon Brown hopes “Fool in the Rain” isn’t about him

In anticipation of the incredibly overhyped Led Zeppelin reunion tomorrow in London, a UK Telegraph article on the band’s legacy invites a slew of comments, including — among some inane missives — an amusing take on “Stairway to Heaven” as a prophetic account of British politics over the subsequent three decades:

The Telegraph stoops to popularism but on a serious note they were prophets too..

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
(Thatcher)
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
(coal stocks)
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
(she’s not for turning)

There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
(Tory betrayal)

In a tree by the brook there’s a songbird who sings (Blair)
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
(He WAS a lying bar steward)

There’s a feeling I get when I look to the west
(The US has gone a bit funny)
And my spirit is crying for leaving
(Costa Blanca here we come)
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
(Smoking bans in pubs – they’re all in the garden)
And the voices of those who stand looking
(Bureaucrats presiding over a decaying state)

And it’s whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
(Call the government to account)
Then the piper will lead us to reason
(We’ll leave the God awful EU)
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
(True Patriots)
And the forest will echo with laughter
(Global warming is a myth after all).

And it makes me wonder

(Why the F*** are the British so stupid))
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow
Don’t be alarmed now
(Property prices plummet)
It’s just a spring clean for the May Queen
(Peter Mandelson’s got a good job anyway and has rifled your pockets)

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on
(Leave your clothes on a beach and disappear)

Your head is humming and it won’t go in case you don’t know
The piper’s calling you to join him
(Internal Voices – Care in the community)

Dear lady can’t you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind
(Best to emigrate ‘cos the UK’s so f****d)

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
(Harriet Harman is innocent)

How everything still turns to gold
(it’s still all about money)
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
(We knew that dodgy credit couldn’t last)
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
(Northern Rock gets nationalised – no buyer)

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
And when she gets there she knows if the stores are closed
With a word she can get what she came for
(Bank of England will bale us all out in the end- not)
Posted by John Cunningham on December 7, 2007 6:06 PM

Zep guitarist Jimmy Page claimed the British occult writer and huckster Alesteir Crowley as a major intellectual influence, but he may have have owed as much to Nostradamus — at least in terms of verbal impenetrability. (Thanks to Margaret Griffis for the Telegraph link.)