North Korea Adopts Floral Basket-Based Economy

Isolated from the rest of the world, Kim Jong Il’s bankrupt North Korean regime appears to have stumbled upon a new gimmick to stay afloat: cornering the world supply of floral baskets. The North Korean government’s propaganda front to the outside world, the pretentiously named Korean Central News Agency, regularly features sycophantic accounts of the Dear Leader. One true and tested cliche is the presentation of floral baskets to him, but today’s batch of stories seems to set a record:

Floral Basket to Kim Jong Il from Family of Zhang Weihua

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) — General Secretary Kim Jong Il was presented with a floral basket by the family of Zhang Weihua, anti-Japanese revolutionary martyr of China, on Thursday on the occasion of the 77th founding anniversary of the Korean People’s Army.

Written on the ribbon of the floral basket were letters “We Wholeheartedly Wish the Great Leader ComradeKim Jong Il Good Health”.

Floral Basket Presented to Kim Jong Il

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) — A floral basket was presented to General Secretary Kim Jong Il from Jong Il Sim, Korean in Russia, on a visit to the homeland Thursday on the occasion of the 77th anniversary of the heroic Korean People’s Army.

It was handed to an official concerned.

Floral Baskets to DPRK Embassies

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) — Floral baskets were sent to the DPRK embassies in Cairo and Addis Ababa on April 14 by the vice-chairman of the National Democratic Party of Egypt, the vice-chairman of the Veterans Committee of Egypt, the chairman of the Egypt-Korea Friendship Association and the Ethiopian Youth Study Group of the Juche Idea on the occasion of the Day of the Sun.

Large Floral Basket to DPRK Embassy in Damascus

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) — Deputy Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Syria Hassan Turkmani who is minister of Defence sent a large floral basket to the DPRK embassy in Damascus on April 16 congratulating General Secretary Kim Jong Il on his reelection as chairman of the National Defence Commission of the DPRK.

At this pace, Kim Jong Il may soon be able to offer a trade: “My nukes for your centerpieces!”