Today’s New York Times has a funny op-ed (both funny ha ha and funny odd for the NYT). It’s a spoof by Rick Moranis on global warming — steps to take to reduce one’s carbon footprint. Moranis uses a mock letter to the board of directors of a hypothetical upscale co-op to list eight steps to mitigation.
Here are the first three to titillate your interest:
1. It’s crucial that we begin harvesting rainwater immediately. According to the co-op’s proprietary lease, shareholders who have terraces don’t actually own their outdoor square footage, so reclaiming them should not be a problem. Bob suggests using sort of a cross between eminent domain and “pleading footprint.”
For our little terrace off the library, I’ve ordered a 500-gallon free-standing elliptical leg tank made of high-density polyethylene with no UV inhibitors. My feeling is, solar-heat the rainwater and deal with it later. Mr. Ramirez says that his brother has a company that can install the collection piping.
2. I’ve spoken to Time Warner about whether their coaxial and fiber optic cable can be restrung laterally across the courtyard for laundry drying. Needless to say how much energy this will save. Bob knows several people on the TWX board and says he’ll pitch them on the “P.C.-P.R.” of this….
3. Our underused roof can house up to 38 wind turbine generators. Unlike solar energy, wind doesn’t get dark at night, if you know what I mean. Each one can create 200 watts of power at wind speeds as low as 15 m.p.h. Basically we can run the lights in the playroom for a year off one good nor’easter.
A nice Monday morning surprise in the pages of the usually pretentious and pompous and oh-so-serious New York Times.