After the horrific events of the shooting in Aurora, countless pundits are calling for the reinstatement of the federal assault weapons ban.
I agree with them. But why stop there? According to the FBI, 358 people were murdered in the U.S. by rifles of any kind in 2010. That’s less than half of one percent of all firearm murders in the U.S. that year. By contrast, 745 people were killed by bare hands alone. That’s more than twice as many as were killed by rifles!
Now, I’m not suggesting that we outlaw fists. That would be ideal, but frankly unfeasible. I’m a reasonable man.
That’s why I propose a more sensible policy involving mandatory protective foam gloves to be worn at all times. Or better yet, Congress could mandate straitjackets for all citizens. Such a policy would completely eliminate fist- and hand-related crime, not to mention gun violence.
The best part? Such a ban would be completely constitutional. The Second Amendment protects the right to bear arms, but says nothing about bare hands.