You would need a heart of stone

…not to laugh at the sanctimony and earnestness displayed by the Global Warming Sistas Laurie David and Sheryl Crow in their blog. Here’s Crow:

Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

No, that’s not from The Onion and it wasn’t written on April 1. Meanwhile, here’s David, quite possibly the most self-important person on the planet:

David (4/20, Charlottesville): Sheryl couldn’t be with me tonight because of a previous commitment [Crow traveled to New York for a show that wasn’t part of the tour] but luckily rock stars have rock star friends. Tonight, I spoke outside the gorgeous Charlottesville pavilion, in front of a couple of thousand slightly inebriated college men (there to see the wonderful Robert Randolph and the Family Band) who were forced to sit through the opening act . . . me. Truly, it was one of the most challenging 20 minutes of my life. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw guys yawning, I heard kids saying “where’s the music?” and I think I heard the “b” word. I rushed through the speech and when I walked off the stage I immediately burst into tears. Not because I took anything personally but because it was so clear how much work is still to be done. Tonight served as a stark reminder that social change is a journey and I learned tonight that not every stop is going to be easy.

Ah, the wisdom of crowds…