Julia Sand – Letter 15

Context

The “Park” referenced is Central Park. As Julia noted in letter 5, she lived near the 72nd Street entrance.

Letter 15

August 19, 1882

 

Hon. Chester A. Arthur.

 

Are you offended with me – really – seriously? Do the few harsh things that I have said to you, outweigh all else – the fact that for a whole year I have thought of & felt with you in your cares & perplexities – that last summer, when you were bowed down in gloom & seemed almost broken in spirit, I did my best to arouse your manhood & your courage – that I had faith in you, when hardly anyone who had the welfare of the country at heart, hoped anything good of you! I did not ask you to answer my letters, for I knew you could not speak to me on the subjects I chose to discuss – but it never crossed my mind, till now, that you distrusted me. Perhaps most of my letters have never reached your eye – possibly, at the sight of the unwelcome handwriting, you destroyed them unread. If you disliked them so much, why did you not stop their coming? It would have saved me some trouble – & you could have done it in an instant, by writing one line on your card. Or do my persistent appeals to your patriotism, my obstinate belief in your better nature, convey to your mind the impression of a character not to be trusted even with a line on a card?

 

If possible, I will send this to you in a way that I will know if it reaches you & is read. Please answer me simply whether you are or are not offended. If you are, there is nothing more to be said. If not, what then? It seemed to me, if you wished to see me, nothing could be easier than to stop, when you are out driving in the Park – but in that perhaps I am quite mistaken. It may be that it is not safe for you to go about in that unguarded manner. And outside the question of safety, possibly there is an importance & a publicity attached to all your doings, which connects undue annoyance with the simplest acts in life. Owing to your official position, it would be suitable for anyone to call on you – still it would be very hard for me to do it. Besides I have a feeling, that, when you are in your own house, “the people” ought to let you alone. And yet perhaps this is the last chance of our meeting. I expect to leave New York – &, owing to certain unfortunate circumstances, it is not likely that I will take a pleasure trip to Washington, or anywhere else, very soon. But I have not paid calls for five years – & I shrink from beginning just when & where I would not be welcome. Tell me the plain truth. If you would rather not see me, do not hesitate to say so – I will understand your motive better than you think. And if you still believe that I am not to be trusted with a line on a card – when I have trusted you so boundlessly! – you may send the message verbally. It will annoy me, of course – but that is of no consequence – the bearer may be trusted.

 

Yours truly,

J. I. S.

 

P.S. In case I cannot send this, but have to mail it, & you are willing to answer my questions, but feel a mysterious objection to sending a letter, with my innocent address upon it, out into the world, you may enclose it in an envelope, directed to G. F. Rossire Esq. – 54 Wall St, New York. He is my nephew, & will forward it without question or delay. Occasionally I request to have a business letter sent to me in that way, so it will not attract attention.

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Letter 16 – Reflections on Arthur’s visit