New York Bans Smoking in Central Park
…and all other public outdoor spaces. Soon there will be no smoking in any car-banned area of New York City, including Times Square, Central Park, and Coney Island.
Bloomberg, a “passionate anti-smoker,” fully supports this measure. Who can blame him? Giuliani rolled back the ghetto and ended NYC’s infamous ’80s crime wave. Rudy Giuliani actually paid homeless people to leave the city by offering one-way air fare wherever they wanted to go.
Bloomberg needs something for his legacy. Just: Who would’ve thought his chosen legacy would be to get New York City on the anti-choice wagon?
Here is a city so rife with carbon monoxide fumes that even Batman has fled Gotham to rest his lungs until the next crime wave. You remember the Bodies exhibit, where a smoker’s lung and a city-dweller’s lung are virtually identical. Why not have your cab and smoke break too, or at least let people decide for themselves?
Whatever happened to this New York, the Sidney Morgenbesser age of irony and intelligence and wit?
Morgenbesser was leaving a subway station in New York City and put his pipe in his mouth as he was ascending the steps. A police officer told him that there was no smoking on the subway. Morgenbesser pointed out that he was leaving the subway, not entering it, and hadn’t lit up yet anyway. The cop repeated his injunction. Morgenbesser repeated his observation.
After a few such exchanges, the cop saw he was beaten and fell back on the oldest standby of enfeebled authority: “If I let you do it, I’d have to let everyone do it.” To this the old professor replied, “Who do you think you are, Kant?”
The word “Kant” was mistaken for a vulgar epithet and Morgenbesser had to explain the situation at the police station.